she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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