Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
