I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
