susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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