I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
