Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
