You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
