He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
