Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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