Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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