I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
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