so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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