Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
So many bounce houses so little time
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
