The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
you would pick up someone in the library
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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