I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Randomize
