Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize
