I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
soo... how was my night?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
