Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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