Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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