Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
