Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
