I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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