just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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