Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
