Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize