ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Randomize
