I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
