id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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