I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
