cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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