I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
