so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize