i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
that's an acceptable place to lick
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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