ya dads aren't the best wingmen
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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