no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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