We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
