Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ๐๐#pensacolaproblems
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
You know you're old when youโre masturbating and you pull your hip
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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