The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
