Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
