They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
