Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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