Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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