he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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