Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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