I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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