Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
