Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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