i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
