Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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