I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
