You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
did i walk over a car last night?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
