its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
