C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
