It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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