yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
