Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
