she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Last time i carry you out of a forest
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
