Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
