Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
