are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize