Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
