my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize