The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
