I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
