I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
