Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
