On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
