No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
