They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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