I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
