Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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