Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
