There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
