There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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