Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize