i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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