I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
