look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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