i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
i believe in u and ur pee
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize