try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Randomize
