he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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