How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
