i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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