Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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