at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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