you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
