she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
