id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
My pussy is not your playground.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
