well I can't set my house on fire every night
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
ugly people sure do ruin things
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Randomize