I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He better not be in your backpack
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
