other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize