ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
