Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
